Dear friend,
I see you. The one who is weary. The one isn’t sure how to know how to keep showing up in what feels like an impossible situation. I look at your face down the hall, through the FaceTime screen, across the hospital waiting room, and I see it in your eyes. You just aren’t sure if you can take one more step. You’ve been here before and unfortunately, without a miracle, you know it’s only a matter of time before you’ll be in this place again. You long for just a day of rest. For an hour of reprieve. For just a moment to be cared for.
I see you. More than that, God sees you. Hear His word for you today:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed YOU; I have called YOU by name; YOU are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; … you are precious and honored in my sight, and I love you.” Isaiah 43:1-4 (emphasis added)
God does not promise us an easy life. He does promise to see us through every moment of it, even the floods and fires. I know you understand the devastating reality that the passage uses the word “when” not “if” the trials come. You know it’s only a matter of time and that adds to the weariness.
I reminded you above that God sees you and the passage mentions God’s people being honored in His sight. But I also know that doesn’t always feel like a helpful reminder. The natural response that can bubble up in our soul, then, is “God if you see this, then why don’t you do something about it?!? You have power to stop the fire and the flood all together! You have the power to end this pain and suffering I’m going through, but here we are day after day!”
Sometimes having a God who sees us seems to add more confusion and pain.
I wish I had answers. I wish He would step in and bring immediate healing. I wish I knew the reasons why He doesn’t because then maybe at least there would be a bit more hope to hold on to. I wish all of that, but perhaps more importantly than what I wish, here’s what I know:
God does see, and He doesn’t stop at seeing. When God sees, He acts! When He sees His children in a hard place, He does something! We may not see what He is up to, but we know He doesn’t just stand idly by. He is up to something in this situation and I’ll hold hope for you in that when it feels to hard to hope for that yourself.
He also is not seeing these things from far off, as a distant God. He is near, with you, carrying the burdens, walking with you through the rivers and fires. You are not alone… and He will see you through to the other side.
When I stop long enough to consider the Jesus I know, the God revealed in Scripture, I can only imagine the tears falling down His face as He walks with you. The God who is described repeatedly as one of love and compassion, who knows what it means personally to suffer, who is well acquainted with grief, can’t help but weep alongside you. He hates this too. He hates this season that seems as if it will never end. He hates the way you/your child/your friend is suffering. He hates it enough that he DID show up to DO something when He came as a human, lived, suffered, died, and rose from the grave for YOU. He hates your suffering enough that He promises to come again and make it all right again.
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. … And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.””
Revelation 21:1-5
So, dear friend, as you get up to face another day of unknowns where the only thing you do know is that it will be hard, speak this truth in prayer:
God, I’m tired. I can’t keep doing this day after day. I’m trying so hard to show up, to honor You, to take care of myself/my loved one, to find healing and hope, but I’m just weary. I’m done. I have nothing left and I don’t even know how to keep going. Please carry me today. Would Your strength somehow become perfect in my weakness. Would this place of having nothing to give be the place where I see You come through for everything. Give me eyes to look forward in hope, knowing that You will bring this situation to an end either here on earth or someday in heaven. This is not the whole, nor the end, of my story. And while I wait, give me eyes to see to see the ways You are working even now, to see that You are with me, to see that You hate all of this too. I need You today, Lord. Desperately. I trust that You are enough. Hold me and weep with me today. Amen.
bekahfreed.com 